Teppy and Her Other Sides

Eat well, live well, and be merry!

Residue


 

One will not ever escape this life in perfection.

I have lived for 25 years and counting and as far as human life goes, I can say that we all are bunch of psychological issues.

I had so many unpleasant memories and experiences  that I wish I could just get an amnesia so I could get on with my life easier.

But it doesn’t work that way, no?

There were moments when I utterly did not know where to go.

Not to family, friends, boyfriend, exes, pets, or even God.

Writing about it helped me a bit, but still…

I realized how little the chances were for me to release my emotions.

I had never been able to be angry.

I just couldn’t.

I did not know where or to whom I should be angry to.

I never got the chance to really really REALLY cry and pour my heart out.

I got sick of how fast the news can travel now, how we have sooo many channels just to tell how we feel or think or do or where we are. From the most important to the most trivial bits.

I forgot how it feels to be isolated, emotionless, disconnected, alone. Literally.

I have swallowed the whole crap and buried it all, ’cause I don’t know where else to put it.

And when it’s time to be happy, because so much that have happened, I tend to be super cautious about anything.

I’m over prepared for the bad things that might intrude.

I forget to enjoy the moments…

I’ll be agitated, worry a lot, feeling like I’m just gonna get hurt all over again, I create all the drama in my head where actually nothing happens…

I keep reminding myself to breathe every time this kind of feeling struck.

It sucks so bad you know… So bad.

I don’t want my manifestation of insecurities end up jeopardizing the good things I’m having.

I gotta save me from myself.

Will you be there?

 

 

 

 

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4 comments on “Residue

  1. pashatama
    August 29, 2012

    of course we will be right here, so you won’t forget how to laugh *hugs*

  2. achie
    August 29, 2012

    Peluk Teppyyyyyyyyyyyy..

  3. opikepik
    August 29, 2012

    i feel you *hug hug hug hug*

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This entry was posted on August 29, 2012 by in Thoughts.

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